Dancing About Architecture

Gay Couples Get Financial Equality

The Federal Government is introducing legislation into parliament that will give gay couples the same rights as de facto heterosexual couples in terms of taxation, superannuation, social security and aged care.  However, the government stops short of legally recognising gay couples as one of their election promises was not to introduce same-sex marriage. Yes, you heard that right, to pander to the homophobic Christian voters, the government promised never to legalise same-sex marriage.

Now, I am happy that Lelak and I will finally be recognised as a couple for our 2009 tax return instead of having to file as two separate individuals.  We may actually get a decent tax return.  However, I am pissed off that the Rudd government won’t grow a pair of balls and introduce civil unions for gay and straight couples. Come on, Kevin Rudd, make some ground breaking legislation and give gay couples legal recognition.  Call it a civil union so that you can keep your promise of not legalising same-sex marriage,  it is just a name.  All I want is the same right afforded every other citizen in this country and that is to have my relationship legally recognised and respected.  I am sick of living like a second class citizen in my own country.

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NSW set to introduce parenting rights for lesbians

For the first time in NSW history, the non-biological lesbian parent will receive the same rights as heterosexual parents. This means that the non-bio mum of children born to a lesbian couple will receive guardianship and medical consent rights, which up to now has been denied to them unless they receive a parenting order via the Family Courts.

Unfortunately, this landmark legislation only applies to kids born via IVF. There is no word as to whether it also applies to those conceived using the “turkey baster” method. It does not apply to kids who are adopted because it would apparently extinguish the rights of the birth parent, which I thought happened when the kid was adopted in the first place. NSW does not at this time let lesbian or gay couples adopt children either nationally or internationally and this does not look set to change. This news article by The Daily Telegraph goes into more detail about this new legislation.

The government is pushing through this change focusing on the benefits to the child rather than the benefits to the lesbian parent. This is a smart move on their part as homophobic politicians are going to look really poor in the eyes of the public if they vote against legislation that will benefit children rather than champions of the cause when they vote against legislation benefiting lesbians.

Unfortunately, this legislation does not offer the same rights to the non-biological father of children of gay couples, which is a real shame. NSW wants the Federal Government to deal with the messy legal ramifications of the surrogate mother giving up her parental rights. Still, it is fantastic to see that the NSW government has finally joined the rest of us in the 21st Century in terms of the rights of both lesbian parents and the legal standing of their children. I hope that this is the first of many steps towards giving gay and lesbian families the same rights as those afforded to heterosexual families, regardless of how they are formed.

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High Heel Hell

Now that I work in the city I get to see hundreds of people rushing off to work every morning and heading home every evening. One of the things that struck me was how many women seem to have problems walking in their high heels (pumps). They tetter and totter down the street, frequently stumbling and tripping. At least 80% of the women I encounter on my daily walk through the train station can barely walk in their chosen shoes. It makes me wonder why the hell they wear these shoes. Now don’t tell me it is because they are cute or fashionable, cause if you can’t walk in the shoes you are wearing then honestly, why the hell are they on your feet?

As I walk the women stumbling to work it makes me think of the ancient Chinese tradition of foot-binding. Foot binding, which was performed on young girls from the 10th Century to 1911, involved the breaking of the foot and reduced the foot length to no more than 10cm. Men found it arousing to watch women tettering on these tiny feet. Whilst nowdays foot-binding is a practice considered barbaric, I wonder if high heels perform the same function. Women wearing these contraptions frequently need help from their menfolk to walk up stairs or to get in and out of the car. It makes them appear helpless, just like Chinese women with their tiny feet and men still seem to love it.

Women who don’t wear high heels are considered lesbians. Think I am making things up, then watch this clip from 30 Rock.

Whilst it is funny and Liz’s “bi-curious” shoes did earn her a date with Stephanie March, it highlights the popular stereotype- comfortable shoes equals dyke. Why the hell is this? Why can’t women wear shoes that they are able to walk in and not be in pain after walking one block? Why does fashion (which is dictated by men) condemn women to suffer on a daily basis? Is it because men still like their women helpless?

The next time you put on those cute high heels you can barely walk in, stop, think and then change into your cute flat comfortable shoes. Your feet will thank you for it.

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The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Geeks in Love

When asking for suggestions on what to blog about, Naomi commented “Y’know, I’d love to hear about how you and Lelak met and got together. I don’t remember reading anything of the sort so far.”

Well, kids, gather around whilst I tell you the story of how Lelak and I met.

The year was 1998, I was in my third year of University and the TV show Xena had gained a cult following. Being a geek, I was a member of this wonderful cult following and was a member of a mailing list called DUX - Down Under Xenites. On April 12, 1998, the DUX mailing list decided to have a fan meeting at the King St Cafe, but we would meet at McDonald’s first as that’s the place everyone knew. I get really nervous meeting people I don’t know, but I decided to go along. This would be one of the best decisions of my life.

Lelak, at the time, wasn’t a member of DUX, but her flatemate’s friend Rox was, so Lelak got dragged along to the gathering since she watched Xena anyway.

We all meet up at McDonald’s. So, I can truthfully say, I met my girlfriend at McDonald’s. The initial gathering had an attendance of about 16 people. Fate had it that I sat next to Lelak. The lunch progressed, we ate, we talked, we laughed. After the lunch finished, Lelak and Sumac invited people back to their place to watch some Xena episode. Of the 16 people at the lunch, 10 of us went to Lelak and Sumac’s. As Lelak informed me after we started dating, that when Sumac asked if she invited people back to their place, she only agreed because I was coming. Aww…
Of those 10 people that spent the rest of the day and well into the night watching Xena episodes, 9 of us become really close friends. In fact, we are still friends today. But of course, you are here for the romance story. Well, at the time all this was happening, I was firmly in the closet and Lelak had a girlfriend. It took two years of us being friends for us to finally get together. I did kiss Lelak way back in about September 1998. She was the first girl I ever kissed and the first person with whom kissing made sense with. But, we still didn’t get together. When I finally came out of the closet in November 1999, the first person I dated was our mutual friend V. It was a short lived relationship with us deciding that we were better friends and we actually became flatmates a short time later.

Lelak and I officially got together sometime in July 2000. We are not really sure of the date. It followed months of flirting, hand holding and secret kisses. Lelak was dating someone else during our flirting period. That’s right, I was the other woman. Once we finally got together, it was your typical lesbian dating story where there was only a short dating period before we moved in together. Then again, we had been close friends for over two years before we ever dated so it is not like we barely knew each other. Again, this is what lesbians do, our dating circle is our circle of friends. It becomes very interesting at times.

Almost eight years later, we are still together. Still happy and still in love. We actually worked out that we knew each other before we ever meet. Way back in 1994, we were both on the Australian X-Files list. I actually printed out some of Lelak’s emails because I found them so funny. Yes, my friends, I think it was fate that brought us together. That and the love of sci-fi/fantasy TV shows.

*The title of the post is taken from a famous lesbian film called “The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love”

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Who are you?

I got this comment on one of my posts;
“So: if indeed you are a thirty-something lesbian geek, as you claim, you’re probably into Le Tigre.”

I must admit I am left a little puzzled about why people might not think I am who I say I am. I know the internet is the place where people assume a fake identity, but geez, if I was going to fake someone to be on the ‘net, it certainly wouldn’t be a thirty something lesbian geek, that’s for sure. For one, I would pretend to be someone really cool as well as thin and gorgeous, definitely not a fat nerdy dyke. I would also blog about my really cool and interesting life where I would be living the high life, meeting famous people in coffee shops and posting pictures of myself at fabulous locations. But there is none of that here - I am really am a lesbian geek living in Sydney, Australia, leading a normal life.

Also, I am so into Le Tigre, I had to google them. No idea who or what they are. Apparently they are an American post-punk/electro-pop band. I guess that means my lesbian cred is now non-existent. Did I mention I was a geek? No idea about popular cool culture, but I bet I could kick Le Tigre’s ass at a Xena trivia contest. Yeah, I am so cool.

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